If You Want Your Dog’s Behavior to Change, You Have to Change Your Behavior First
Why an owner's behavior drives a dog's behavior
and
How to change your behavior to influence your dog
Dogs mirror their owners’ energy. Your dog is highly attuned to your emotions and body language. If you are stressed or anxious, your dog can pick up on this and become more stressed and reactive. For example, if you yell at your dog he is likely to yell (bark) back, or if you tighten the leash in your hands your dog will become tense.
Remain calm and relaxed. By doing so you can communicate a sense of safety and security to your dog. Instead of yelling “no”, teach an alternate response. Cue your dog for a behavior you want him to perform, such as asking him to sit calmly on a mat or in his bed before he jumps on visitors.
A lack of consistency reinforces bad habits. Your dog cannot learn if the rules are constantly changing. If you don’t want your dog to beg, but sometimes give your dog table scraps anyway, your dog is likely to become a persistent beggar.
Consistency is crucial for learning. Your dog is a family pet, so all members of the household should participate in your dog’s training. And, everyone needs to be on the same page: Use the same words, hand signals, and be consistent with the rules you set. Make training a part of your routine. Just 15 minutes a day will have a positive effect.
Your training style matters. A 2009 study (1) found that confrontational training methods may provoke fearful or aggressive behavior, while a 2022 study (2) concluded that authoritarian owners (strict, controlling, requiring unquestioning obedience, and using harsh punishments) have dogs that were more likely to be insecure and less sociable.
Use positive reinforcement training. That same 2022 study found that authoritative owners (emphasizing high expectations combined with warmth, reasoning, and mutual respect) are more likely to have dogs that are social and show secure attachment to their owners.
Uncontrolled environment. Passive supervision contributes to puppy potty accidents and chewing mistakes. Unfettered access to doors, windows, counters, yard, etc. enables your dog to practice unwanted behaviors.
Manage your dog's environment. For issues like chewing or inappropriate urination make sure to "puppy-proof" your house by keeping objects out of reach and supervising your dog closely. Block access to doors and windows to stop uncontrolled barking. Keep counters clear of temptations. For reactivity, create more distance from triggers, such as other dogs or people, to help your dog remain calm. By preventing the behavior from happening, you can stop the pattern from getting stronger.
Owners reinforce behaviors, both good and bad. Dog training relies on the principle that a behavior that is rewarded will be repeated. You might be unknowingly reinforcing bad behavior by giving your dog attention for doing something you dislike. For example, if you push your dog down for jumping, the dog still gets your attention, which can be seen as a reward.
Remove the reward for unwanted behavior. For example, if your dog is jumping up, simply stand still or walk away. By removing the reinforcement (the attention he is seeking), the behavior will eventually stop. Then…
Reward the desired behavior. Use positive reinforcement by giving your dog treats, play, praise, or affection when he does something you desire, like having "four paws on the floor" during a greeting.
Dog trainers plant the seed. Pet parents are the water that enables their dog to grow.
Brubaker L, Udell MAR. Does Pet Parenting Style predict the social and problem-solving behavior of pet dogs (Canis lupus familiaris)? Anim Cogn. 2023 Jan;26(1):345-356. doi: 10.1007/s10071-022-01694-6. Epub 2022 Sep 30. PMID: 36175745.
Meghan E. Herron, Frances S. Shofer, Ilana R. Reisner, Survey of the use and outcome of confrontational and non-confrontational training methods in client-owned dogs showing undesired behaviors, Applied Animal Behaviour Science, Volume 117, Issues 1–2, 2009, Pages 47-54, ISSN 0168-1591, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.applanim.2008.12.011.